4 Ways to Create Meaningful FaceTime Interactions for Preschoolers
Grandma is so excited to FaceTime with her preschool aged grandson. He just turned three! She dials the number and you, the mom answer while holding a squirming 3-year-old in your lap (he just wants to play with his new truck). “Hi it’s Grandma!” she says…. blank stare from child…”What did you get for your birthday?” … blank stare from child…. “Did you have some cake?” …blank stare from child…. or he tries to run away. You get it!
Most toddlers and preschoolers engage with their world in a hands on way, and they aren’t going to easily ask and answer questions in a video call the way adults do. What we can do is find ways to create connections that are meaningful to them by making these virtual interactions more concrete, hands on, and fun. We have to change the expectations and our own behavior when it comes to FaceTiming, Zooming, or Duo-ing with the littles in our lives. Below are 4 ways you can foster those meaningful connections in a virtual setting with friends and relatives who live far away, or if you’re trying to social distance.
Start and End Each Call the Same Way
Auditory cues are a powerful tool that can help kids recognize who they are talking to. This is especially true for very young children. I have a 6-month-old nephew named Fritz, and every time I talk to him I say “hello Fritzy!” in the same voice. Now when he hears that, he smiles. This is even more powerful if you also use the same greeting in person, and over the phone. It is a way of relationship building that helps their little brains associate that greeting with the person they love. Even on a confusing phone or iPad screen!
Plan an Activity Ahead of Time
This is key to having a meaningful interaction with a child on screen! Speak to the child’s caregiver ahead of time, so that you can plan an activity that the child enjoys, that you can do together. For preschool aged children, activities like blocks, play dough, or art activities are great. For younger children, you can get creative with sensory play, for example you can have a teddy bear, and the care giver can have a teddy bear, and when you nuzzle the camera with the teddy bear you have, the caregiver can nuzzle the baby with the teddy bear they have.
Comment, Don’t Question
This is true for real life interactions, and even more important online. If you have set up a joint activity you can both do, you will use that activity to comment on their play, and your play. You can say “I like the way you are squishing your playdough!” or “you used so many colors in your picture!” or “we both have bears to hug.” Questions can be demanding, and can stifle communication because they require something from the child. Comments let them know you notice them and care about what they are doing! Often commenting will beget more communication from a young child than a questions will, even though I know that is counter intuitive.
Keep It Short
Lastly, these don’t need to be hour long FaceTime sessions. For a 2-3 year old 10 minutes is about right. For a 3-5 year old, 15 should be about right. This could be shorter or longer depending on the activity, and your child’s attention span. However long you make the activity, trust your gut and when the child starts to lose interest, end the call. Don’t wait until they are bored. Keep the interactions engaging and positive.
Free Resource!
Download our free info-graphic on how to keep these video chats engaging and meaningful. Put it on your fridge as a reminder, or feel free to share with aunties, uncles, grandparents, or long distance friends to help them interact with your child in a virtual world.
I know you can do this!
Claire